A
Link to the Past
Released
on November 21st, 1991
-May
the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.-
Before
we begin, please rise for the Hylian national anthem:
Thank
you. You may be seated.
After
some...uneven experiences with Zelda's first two entries, with Link
to the Past we have entered into what I like to call "the golden
age of Zelda". From 1991 to 2002 Nintendo went on one of
gaming's greatest hot streaks. They made seven Zelda games during
this time period, all of them serious "best game ever"
material.
Now
some critics like to say every Zelda game is essentially the same.
That has some merit, I suppose. They're all action/adventure games
with RPG elements. They all have similar plot structures. But what do
you want? Half-Life 2 wasn't a fucking kart racer.
What
I'm trying to say is that what really impresses me about this string
of Zelda games is how radically different they are from each other.
Nintendo was never content to rest on its laurels, and all seven of
these games were bold, innovative, and fresh. Anyone trying to tell
me that Majora's Mask and Wind Waker are "essentially the same
game" is either a simpleton or horribly misinformed.
Do
you think I'm a Zelda fanboy yet? If you don't then you will. Let's
start this epic circle jerk with one of the most beloved games of all
time: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.
Look,
I get it. You've been around. I know that every fat neck beard with a
keyboard has tried to tell you that whatever glorified toy commercial
they watched as a child is better than Citizen Kane. But you have to
trust me on this one: Link to the Past is really, really fucking
good. The "Dark World" theme. That weird sound effect that
plays when you use the magic mirror. The way Link's hat bobbles
around as he walks. Playing this game makes me feel like my mother is
singing me a lullaby. This is the gaming equivalent of shoving your
face into a bowl of mashed potatoes. It's my personal sanctuary, a
place where I can go to forget about the unimaginable horrors of
reality.
Nostalgia
is one hell of a drug. My personal bias aside, Link to the Past
really is an important, transformative game in the series.
Superficially it plays like the original Legend of Zelda. Top down
view, go into dungeons, collect shit, beat piss out of bosses, etc.
If you really wanted to analyze LttP in the broadest way possible,
the statement "Like Legend of Zelda, but better in every
conceivable way" would be a fair assessment.
Before
I start this review in earnest, can I show you something? Please
watch the first 20 seconds of this video.
How fucking badass is that intro? Can you imagine the effect seeing that intro had on my 4 year old Asperger's brain? That opening made me want to play video games. That intro might as well be a gif of Christina Hendricks pushing her gargantuan tits together. Shit's beautiful...what the fuck was I talking about again? Oh, yeah...
One
thing I want to touch on is that this is Zelda's first real attempt
at a narrative. Sure, the first two games had very basic skeletal
plots that tried to explain why this green hat wearing dweeb was
going around stabbing dragons or whatever, but they can't really be
compared to this.
So
how does Zelda's first narrative hold up? Honestly, its pretty
pedestrian. The princess gets kidnapped (oh no.) and you have to save
her, basically. Or, more specifically you have to get some pendants
or... something so you can get the...oh, right. That's something we
need to talk about.
Now,
I've tried not to get too "dorky" with these reviews. I
don't want to scare off potential new Zelda players with super dense
information about Zelda lore or whatever. But I just want to mention
that this game establishes a lot of important stuff in the Zelda series. Ganon's original name (Ganondorf) is mentioned in the opening
cutscene. Hyrule's standard geography was established here. The seven
wise men make their first appearance as obvious precursors to the
seven sages established in Ocarina of Time. The Triforce is given
more backstory. The iconic spin attack and the hookshot make their
first appearances...do you see why I'm trying to avoid doing this? I
might as well come over to your house and personally shove sleeping
pills down your throat.
However,
there is one thing introduced in Link to the Past that I think
deserves special mention:
That's
right. The iconic Master Sword makes its first appearance here. The
sword is so iconic that a lot of people don't even realize its not in
the first two games. The most powerful sword in the first two games
is actually just known as the "Magic Sword". Kind of weird,
when I think about it, since the Master Sword is specifically
designed to fight Ganon (Demise, technically. But Ganon is Demise
reincarnated) so any sword other than the Master Sword shouldn't have
any effect on him, as as far as I know the Master Sword hasn't been
retconned into the original two games. Perhaps the Magic Sword is
some sort of mutation of the Master Sword...fuck, I'm nerding out
again. I apologize.
So,
yeah, the plot. Zelda gets kidnapped by Ganon's henchman Agahnim. You
save her, then collect three hero's pendants that allow you to obtain
the Master Sword. Once you do that, Zelda gets kidnapped again (way
to fucking go). So it turns out that Ganon at some point obtained the
Triforce (possibly during the events of Ocarina of Time?)which has
created a parallel "Dark World" (I refuse to call it
Lorule, on account of that being fucking stupid) in which he is now
trapped. So Agahnim traps Zelda in the Dark World so Ganon can
escape...or something.
The
plot is Zelda 101 kind of shit, really. But what I really like about
it is how its sprinkled with surprisingly powerful, well earned
emotional moments. Like this:
You
meet this guy in a haunted grove. Turns out he's just an echo of a
guy who got stuck in the Dark World. You eventually meet him. His
body has been twisted by the evil of the Dark World, and he asks you
to go back to the grove and find his flute. Once you do, he asks you
to play it for him one last time before he dies.
Admittedly,
its not Spec Ops: The Line shit or anything, but this side quest
always draws an emotional response out of me, and its a shit load
more nuanced than anything we got in the first two games. There's a
couple more moments like this, like when your uncle dies at the
beginning of the game, or when you show up just a second too late,
and the priest who was supposed to protect Zelda dies in your arms.
Now,
I don't want to "spoil" this 20+ year old game for anyone,
but can we talk about this ending? Because I kind of fucking hate it.
So Link eventually defeats Ganon (what a twist!) and recovers the
Triforce. Link is granted a wish, and he essentially reverses
everything that happened in the game, so there were no consequences
to this little escapade whatsoever.
What?
Flute Boy plays again? He can't do that because he's fucking dead. I
WATCHED HIM DIE, GOD DAMNIT.
I
hate endings like this. Compare this to our next game, Link's
Awakening, which uses a similar storytelling cliche to actually
*raise* the stakes and make the ending even more heartbreaking.
Gameplay
wise, LttP introduces one of Zelda's favorite mechanics: dual world
gameplay. The Light and Dark Worlds have similar geography, and you
can use the Magic Mirror item to return to the Light World at will
(you'll have to use one of the portals hidden around Hyrule to get
back to the Dark World, however). This sets up some fun little
puzzles, like doing something in one world to effect the other, or
using the Magic Mirror in the Dark World to get to places in the
Light World that you normally couldn’t, for example. LttP's
Light/Dark World mechanic is the great grandaddy of Ocarina of Time's
future timeline, Oracle of Season's Rod of Seasons, Oracle of Age's
time travel, Twilight Princess' Twilight Realm, and the 800 other
Zelda games that use a mechanic similar to this. The interplay
between the two maps is a lot of fun, but I do think that some later
games end up using this mechanic a little bit better (the
aforementioned Oracle of Ages/Seasons in particular).
So what's my final verdict on Link to the Past? When I take my personal bias into account, I fucking love it. Its a beautiful, well designed game. I remember playing it with my grandpa during several summers of my childhood, and those memories are hard to extract from the experience. But when I look at the game objectively, I don't see anything done in Link to the Past that isn't done better in subsequent Zelda games. That's not to say that LttP is bad or isn't worth playing, because it is. I think its a testament to the consistently high quality of the Zelda series that this masterpiece isn't (in my opinion) even the best game in the series.
So what's my final verdict on Link to the Past? When I take my personal bias into account, I fucking love it. Its a beautiful, well designed game. I remember playing it with my grandpa during several summers of my childhood, and those memories are hard to extract from the experience. But when I look at the game objectively, I don't see anything done in Link to the Past that isn't done better in subsequent Zelda games. That's not to say that LttP is bad or isn't worth playing, because it is. I think its a testament to the consistently high quality of the Zelda series that this masterpiece isn't (in my opinion) even the best game in the series.
-Like A Boss-
Finally, some cool boss fights. Shit. After Zelda II's decent boss lineup, Link to the Past brings the pain with an awesome lineup of bosses:
Armos
Knights: The Armos Knights are
a great first boss fight. Not too hard, not too easy. There are six
of them, and they stomp around the room in various patterns. You
shoot them with arrows, killing them one by one. Once you're down to
just one Armos, he turns red (this means he's pissed) and starts
doing ground pounds all around the room. At this point you use your
sword, dodging his attacks and hitting him before he ground pounds
again. Really cool boss fight.
Lanmola:
This is the prequel to Majora's
Mask's cool Twinmold fight. In this boss battle you fight three giant
worm things that pop out of the ground and shoot what my grandpa
liked to call "poop balls" at you. This fight can be rather
annoying. I think you're supposed to use the bow here, but the worms
move just fast enough to make hitting them with arrows difficult.
There's a little visual cue that lets you know where a worm will pop
out, so I usually just stand where the worms will be and swing my
sword around like a crazy person. This has the effect of turning this
fight into a glorified game of whack-a-mole.
Moldorm:
Moldorm can suck my balls. This
is one of my least favorite boss fights in the series, as its
designed to be more annoying than challenging. Moldorm moves around,
and you have to hit the end of his tail with your sword. Pretty
standard, but the fight takes place on a rather small platform. If
Moldorm knocks you off the platform, you fall down back into the
dungeon, at which point you have to go back upstairs and start the
fight over. It's not like you can chip away at him or anything,
everytime you fall down Moldrum recovers all of his health. As I
said, not particularly difficult or anything (I was actually able to
kill him without falling down once during this playthrough) but this
fight still sucks.
Agahnim:
You actually fight Agahnim
twice during the course of the game, but both fights play out fairly
similarly. It's the classic Zelda boss fight: guy shoots crap at you,
hit said crap back at guy, guy dies. For his second appearance,
Agahnim splits into three versions of himself, all of which shoot
lasers at you. This makes things a lot more interesting, particularly
since only one of the three Agahnims is real, so the other two can't
take damage. Overall a pretty neat boss fight. I look forward to
doing it again, since this fight is essentially cloned in every Zelda
game made since.
Helmasaur
King: Look at that picture. The
first boss of a Dark World dungeon obviously means business. This guy
is scary as shit. The picture doesn't really do him justice either:
this dude is fucking huge. He takes up half of the room you fight him
in. I think Link's about the size of his foot. Shit, he's so massive
he doesn't even really move. He just sits there on his fat ass,
lazily swinging his scorpion tail around and spitting out fireballs.
You have to use the hammer to chip off his mask. Once his mask is
gone, his true face is revealed: a set of eyes and a massive green
jewel in his forehead that might as well be a sign reading "STAB
HERE". After seeing Helmasaur King crammed into this really
small room, I have a couple of questions:
1)
How do Zelda bosses actually get into the rooms you fight them in? In
some cases this isn't really a issue, but look at this shit:
There's
only one door leading into the room, and I doubt Helmasaur King could
even stick his dick through it. This fight also takes place in the
dungeon's basement, by the way, so its not like they ripped the roof
off and airlifted his ass in or anything. Did they build the room
around him? Why would you do that? Did Helmasaur King agree to this?
Is he even sentient?
2)
What do Zelda bosses do when they're not fighting you? How long has
Helmasaur King been sitting in this room? How does he eat? Do the
other, much smaller Helmasaurs bring him snacks? Do they also remove
what I assume would be Helmasaur King's massive bowel movements? Why
is he even down here to begin with? He's guarding one of the
kidnapped maidens you have to save, sure, but he wouldn't have been
given that job until recently. What was he doing before then? This
shit is making my brain melt.
Arrghus:
ARRRRRRRghus. He must be a
pirate. I always thought this guy's name was Wort, since there's a
mini-boss in Majora's Mask with an identical appearance and mechanics
by that name. Guess I was wrong. Anyways, ARRRRRRRRghus here is
surrounded by yellow...things that protect him from damage. You have
to use the hookshot to pull the yellow things off of him. Once the
things are gone, ARRRRRRRRghus goes ape shit and starts flying around
the room, at which point you have to fight him with your sword. This
is a solid boss fight, not too difficult, but it definitely keeps you
on your toes.
Mothula:
The fight with ol' Mothra here
is just a glorious cluster fuck. Feast your eyes:
That
thing you're standing on is a conveyor belt, by the way. And those
spikes lining the walls will randomly fly around the room. And
Mothula shoot lasers at you. Overkill, much?
Maybe
once the fight starts a crazed chimp could crawl out of my TV and
attempt to rip my balls off. Maybe the SNES controller could somehow
spit weaponized pepper spray directly into my eyeballs. Or maybe the
disembodied spirit of Shigeru Miyamoto could fly out of the cartridge
and start slapping me over the head with a copy of Wii Music. C'mon guys. Put some
fucking effort into this shit.
Really,
though, this fight isn't too bad. I usually just tank all the hits
and burn Mothula's ass off with the fire rod.
Blind:
Like Mothula, this fight can
get pretty busy. Remember Gleeock and Helmethead? Same thing. Blind
keeps losing heads, which proceed to fly around the room shooting
lasers. Its better than those aforementioned fights, though, because
Blind *also* moves around shooting lasers. What I'm saying is that
this fight involves a shit ton of lasers. This is just a really good,
classic fight.
Kholdstare:
What is up with Zelda and
eyeballs? Everything is either just an eyeball (like this guy or
ARRRRRRRGHUS) or has en extremely obvious eyeball weak spot (Gohma).
So this guy isn't really anything to write home about. You use the
fire rod to melt the ice surrounding him, at which point he splits
into three different eyes which fly around the room shooting ice at you. Hit them with your fire rod some more and they die.
Now
is probably a good time to mention that Link to the Past uses the
previous game's Magic Meter system (thanks, Zelda II) and its really
fucking annoying. A lot of your items drain your meter, and a fair
amount of bosses require the use of said items to defeat them. Most
of the time, if you run out of magic during a boss fight, you're just
straight up screwed. Thankfully, modern Zelda games seem to be
phasing this system out. Good riddance, I say.
Vitreous:
MOAR EYEBALLZ. This guy gets
bonus points for being an eyeball covered in smaller eyeballs.
Vitreous is kind of lame. You use your sword to kill all of the
smaller eyeballs, at which point the big eyeball starts charging at
you. Then you eyeball with the eyeball and the eyeball with the
FUCKING EYEBALLS.
Trinexx:
This is the boss of the game's
final proper dungeon, Turtle Rock, and he's surprisingly easy. Hit
the red head with the ice rod (that is not a sexual euphemism, even
if I do like to call my dick the ice rod) and hit the blue head with
the fire rod. Once both heads are dead, Mr. Rock Turtle sheds his
shell and starts snaking around the room. Hit the center of his body
a couple of times with your sword and he dies.
Ganon:
He's back, mother fucker. Ganon
can actually be fairly difficult. He warps around, shooting bats made
out of fire at you. He'll also attempt to hit you with his trident.
During this phase you just hit him with your sword. At a certain
point, Ganon gets tired of your shit and knocks the outer ring of the
floor out, creating a small arena for you to finish the fight in.
The torches in the room go out, and you have to use the fire rod to
light them again. Once you do, Ganon become visible. Hit him with
your sword, then shoot him with a silver arrow. Rinse and repeat.
Despite a lukewarm first appearance, the series' second fight with
Ganon is actually really badass.
-Hey,
Listen!-
A
Link to the Past easily has one of the greatest video game
soundtracks of all time. This makes it rather difficult to pick just
one track to highlight, so I won't. Let's call it a tie between "The
Dark World" and "Hyrule Castle".
Link's
Awakening
Released
June 6th, 1993
-The
Wind Fish slumbers long, the hero's life...gone.-
Link's Awakening is an incredibly important game to me. Not because I cherish memories of playing it as a child or whatever. Its the exact opposite, actually.
Let
me paint you a picture: I'm 22 years old. I've just finished Skyward
Sword. I can't say I didn't sort of enjoy Skyward Sword, but as with
most recent Zelda games, it didn't have a strong impact on me. I
didn't finish it and go "Wow, what a great game." I began
worrying that the magic of Zelda was gone. Perhaps the things I felt
about earlier Zeldas were nostalgia, and nothing more. On a whim, I
decided to play one of the earlier Zeldas I had somehow missed:
Link's Awakening.
Let
me tell you, Link's Awakening put those fears to rest. Here's a game
that I didn't play until I was in my early 20's, no nostalgia goggles
whatsoever. And I fucking LOVE this game. It is incredible.
The
amazing thing about Link's Awakening is that it didn't have to be
this good. What could be expected out of a Zelda game for the
original Game Boy, a piece of hardware with processing power roughly
equal to an abacus?
All
the designers had to do was create a shitty, watered down version of
A Link to the Past and we would've eaten that shit right up. "Zelda
on the go. Its decent. 11/10" -Gamespot
Yet
not only is Link's Awakening not a watered version of LttP, in some
ways it actually *surpasses* it, particularly in the story
department.
Now
I want to go ahead and give you a spoiler warning here, even though
this game is older than my sister (who is married, by the way). This
game has a great story with a big twist coming in at around the 75%
complete mark, so if you haven't played it, what the fuck is wrong
with you? Do you enjoy things that are good? Then I would highly
recommend this game. Go play it. Right now. I'll be waiting...
Are
you finished? Yes? Good. Wasn't that game fucking awesome? Anyways,
on with the review.
I
was going to give you a plot summary, but I'll let this crazy ass
Japanese commercial do it for me:
Sweet
Jesus. That...didn't really tell you anything, did it? Well, that was
pointless.
Okay,
so after the events of A Link to the Past, Link decides to go on a
"spiritual journey" and leaves Hyrule. My theory is that
the events of Link to the Past have left Link with post traumatic
stress disorder, and this "spiritual journey" is really
just an excuse to leave behind anything that reminds him of the
experience. This sounds crazy, but I think the final boss (which
we'll discuss later) actually supports this theory.
So
Link is cruising around the ocean on some shitty ass raft when a
massive storm strikes. Link's raft sinks, and he awakens (Get it?) to
find that he is now in a place known as Koholint Island. Shortly
after you wake up, you meet an owl who tells you that in order to
leave the island, you have to collect eight magical instruments and
wake the Wind Fish, who appears to be some sort of sleeping god.
These instruments are, of course, all found inside perilous dungeons.
Nothing is ever fucking easy.
I
can't really put my finger on why, but Koholint Island has this very
subtle creepiness to it. Every is just too...pleasant. I really can't
explain it any better than that, but I always had this odd feeling
like something about Koholint Island was fucked up. And indeed there
*is* something wrong with the island: it's all a dream.
Okay,
I know your eyes are about to roll out of your skull, but believe me
when I say that this may be the only good use of the "It was all
a dream!" trope. Turns out that the Wind Fish is so powerful
that his dreams actually physically manifest themselves...
potentially. See, there's also a heavy implication that Koholint
Island is also partially a result of Link's dreams, and that Link and
the Wind Fish are somehow mentally tied together in some sort of
crazy Inception shit.
This
gives the game's narrative all kinds of fascinating implications.
There's this little romance subplot with a girl you meet named Marin.
Is Marin some sort of aspect of the Wind Fish's personality? Or does
she represent something that Link desires? Does he desire Zelda, the
person he actually mistakes Marin for the first time he sees her? Or
does Link desire simple companionship? Like another dark,
intellectual game in the series, Majora's Mask, there's a ton of
interesting subtext that adds a lot of character to Link, who's
generally just a blank cypher.
The
villains in this game are also really interesting. They're known as
Nightmares, and they want to make sure the Wind Fish never wakes up
so they can live on Koholint Island forever. This actually means that
the villains are attempting to prevent *you* from doing something, as
opposed to the other way around. This is actually really uncommon in
games, and I think it should be done more often. Link is actually a
proactive part of the story, as opposed to just being some doofus who
would prefer it if the world didn't explode.
The
final boss of the game (simply known as Nightmare) is supposed to be
the leader of the Wind Fish's nightmares, but I think he might
actually be *your* nightmare. He constantly shifts his shape in order
to fight you, with one of those shapes being this:
This
kind of of plays back into my point about PTSD. Nightmare takes the
shape he feels will frighten you the most: Ganon.
The
ending of this game is a massive uppercut to the gonads. You've grown
to care about about the island and its inhabitants. Especially Marin,
who tells you her greatest dream is to leave the island one day and
sing to people all over the world. As Nightmare falls and the Wind
Fish wakes, Koholint Island and everyone you've met on your journey
just...fades away. Jesus, that's fucking dark, bro. I don't want to
talk about this game's story anymore, it hits me right in the feels.
So let's talk about the gameplay. That makes me happy, on account of
it being really good. Now, its fairly obvious that this game and the
later Oracle games use the same engine. I can't really describe it in
words, but there's just something about the way these three games
play the charms the ever living shit out me. The way Link moves, the
way he swings his sword, the sound effects, the way the music sounds, it all just rubs me the
right way, y'know?
One
thing I like about this game is how free and mobile the combat feels.
This can probably mostly be attributed to the new item Roc's Feather,
which actually lets you jump on command. So instead of hustling your
slow ass around projectiles, you can just jump over them and stab the
bad guy in the eyes. Its great. This is particularly fun once you get
the boomerang, which in this game can actually kill enemies instead
of simply stunning them. At this point in the game, combat usually
involves me jumping around like a spider monkey on meth, all the
while tossing my boomerang around like I was some sort of badass
ninja from the Australian Outback.
So
the gameplay is good, and the story is good. But Link's Awakening
doesn't even stop there. It's an incredibly important Zelda game, as
it represents a major sea change in the way these games are designed.
Link's Awakening has a larger emphasis on environmental puzzles than
it predecessors, and its boss fights play out more like puzzles as
well.
Take
Moldrum from Link to the Past, for instance. The item you get in
Moldrum's dungeon is the Moon Pearl, an item that lets you retain
your original form in the Dark World. The boss fight doesn't use the
mechanics of the Moon Pearl, you just hit him with your sword. As an
example of the new boss philosophy, take Awakening's Slime Eel. You
get the hookshot in this dungeon, and you have to use the hookshot to
defeat the boss. Now I understand this is a pretty selective example.
The Helmasaur King boss fight uses the dungeon item (the hammer)
while Moldrum actually returns in Awakening and (still) doesn't use
that dungeon's item. But these "puzzle" bosses feel like
they have a significantly larger presence here. Even the dungeon's
themselves now feel like more of a showcase for whatever item it is
you find within.
So
which of these two design philosophies do I prefer? I'm honestly not
sure. The newer philosophy keeps the dungeons significantly more
focused, but some of the later games in the series develop a bad
habit of designing dungeons around items that are literally never
used again after that dungeon is completed *cough* Twilight Princess
Spinner *end cough*.
Look,
I can prattle on all day, but I want to get back on topic here. That
topic being that Link's Awakening is amazing. It's a four course
lobster dinner when all I was expected was a bag of chips. Plus, it has fucking Goombas in it. Wat.
-Like
A Boss-
Moldrum:
He's baaaaaaaaaaaack. See my
analysis in the Link to the Past section. I mean it. Go back and read
it, its the same fucking fight. Fuck this guy, he sucks.
Genie:
So Genie is
a... uh... Genie... clown... thing. This guy is really annoying. He pops
out of his lamp and throws fireballs at you. When he goes back into
his lamp, you have to pick up the bottle and throw it against a wall.
Eventually the bottle breaks, at which point Genie starts teleporting
around the room shooting fireballs at you. While he's doing this you
can finish him off with your sword. This boss is really weird.
Slime
Eyes: Slime Eyes is...another
eyeball guy. You use your Pegasus Boots to knock him off the ceiling,
at which point you can attack him. In a pretty snazzy effect, he
starts to split in two the more you attack him. Once he's almost
split, you dash through him using the boots to finish the
transformation. At this point the fight is pretty standard. Dodge the
eyes' attacks and kill them with your sword.
Angler
Fish: This fight is so bad.
Look at this screen:
Okay,
do you see what the problem is? Obviously, Angler Fish's weak spot is
the giant glowing ball at the tip of his angler. The entire fight takes
place underwater on a 2-D plane. You enter the room from the top,
Angler Fish enters the room from the bottom. This means that as soon
as the fight starts you're right next to his weak spot and Angler
Fish doesn't really move. Spam that sword and he'll die in about 10
seconds. Cool. Even if you don't somehow kill Angler Fish immediately
he won't put up much of a fight. He just sits there like a dumb
asshole and spawns smaller fish that swim around the screen
aimlessly. This fight sucks.
Slime
Eel: There are two things you
need to know about Slime Eel: A)
He totally sounds like he could be a boss in a Mega Man X game, and
B) He's a total douche. This fight is fairly tedious. There's a big
hole in the middle of the room, and Slime Eel sticks his giant ass
tail through it, attempting to swat you with it while he pops his
head through various holes in the wall. You have to use your hookshot
on his head when he pop out. This pulls him toward you, exposing his
weak spot. As I said, tedious.
Facade:
Facade confuses me. Is he some
sort of disembodied face? Is he actually the floor? Is he a monster
hiding under the floor?
Who fucking knows. Just throw bombs at face, see if he likes that. This fight is pretty easy, considering all Facade really does is try to drop rocks on your head.
Who fucking knows. Just throw bombs at face, see if he likes that. This fight is pretty easy, considering all Facade really does is try to drop rocks on your head.
Evil
Eagle: So this fight also takes
place on a 2-D plane. And it's Moldrum style, so if you fall off the
platform you're fighting on the boss battle resets. Did I mention I
hate this mechanic? Well I hate this mechanic, and Evil Eagle can
take that little skeleton dude on top of him and shove him up its
ass.
Hot
Head: This fight blows. Hot
Head will jump out of a pit of lava, at which point you'll use your
magic rod to spam six billion laser beams into his face. He will then
die. Cool.
Nightmare:
This boss fight is really cool.
Nightmare has a bunch of different forms, including Agahnim, Ganon,
and Moldorm (FUCK THAT DUDE). Each form has different mechanics,
making this fight challenging and dynamic. Also, I think his final
form bears a striking resemblance to Vaati.
Do
you know who Vaati is? Eh, we'll talk about him later.
-Hey,
Listen!-
Link's
Awakening's soundtrack is admittedly nothing to really write home
about. But what do you want? The Game Boy's sound was shit. Anyways,
here's my pick, "Final Boss Theme":
Next
time: Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask
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